Fear/Loving is a devotion to those I’ve grown closest to in a time of doubt, oblivion and eventual self-acceptance; evoking emotional and physical connections previously unknown.
Through observations of family, friends, new loves and the visceral relationships conceived over time, this self-reflective body of work examines internal conflicts of expression and repression in midwestern culture while challenging vulnerability and acquiescence.
As a teenager I grew up emotionally detached and uncertain how to bring up difficult conversations about mental health, sexuality, and overwhelming loneliness in eastern Iowa; feelings I've grappled with for most of my young life and continue to deal with today.
Following the divorce of my parents in my early twenties I began to shut down. Investing time and energy into other people became unattainable and expressing my feelings toward another, crippling. Romantic relationships disintegrated, and friendships remained shallow.
Capturing this reality transformed feelings of desertion into language while offering insight into similar circumstances, often undisclosed, affecting individuals around me. Documenting those in proximity during times of tribulation is necessary as expectations of love, intimacy and longevity continue to shift.
These images explore the everlasting dialogues surrounding aging, upbringing, separation and their impact on relationships. Always forming and sometimes forgotten, the bonds created with individuals we know our entire lives and those who come and go, offer support and stability during times of heartache and turmoil – ultimately helping us endure, withstand and continue.
2016 - present